


Fairy Lights

by hweasa



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, ChanLix, Crying, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Insecurity, M/M, Pet Names, Slice of Life, Song Lyrics, Unrequited Love, big christopher, chubby felix, felix is a freshman, semi-fluffy, soft smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-01-25 07:37:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21352615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hweasa/pseuds/hweasa
Summary: Felix couldn’t believe he was really dating Christopher. Sometimes he would pinch himself just to make sure that beautiful, charismatic and smart man chose him to carry on together. For him, and for the others, it was unbelievable how Felix, a nonstandard foreigner, was just the exact person that he, the most popular and cherished student of the campus, had fallen in love.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 23
Kudos: 191





	1. Satellite

**Author's Note:**

> brr I'm nervous

Felix was dealing with the headaches of his senior year of college. Final exams, internships, graduation events… He couldn’t sleep or eat properly in days. His headache got worse, his nails were bitten, he was losing hair, all his body hurt and he couldn’t even be with his boyfriend for lack of time.

Christopher tried to help him when he invited Lix to live with him. Felix was living with another seven students. He never could focus on his own problems. So, even if he wanted to wait for his graduation to accept Bang’s invitation, Lix accepted.

It was cool in the beginning. Christopher worked all day, coming back home in the late afternoon. In spite of having a small dog, it wasn’t messy or noisy. These were precious moments of tranquillity for Felix. When his boyfriend came back home, no matter how much work or worries Lix had, he was always convinced to sit with Chris for dinner.

With all the headaches he had at the time, the boy was losing the little patience he had. A lot of times he got angry with little things, taking it out on Christopher and ignoring him for days. Felix was about to explode, he saw his relationship falling apart because of him and even considered returning to the students’ house, because he'd rather hate strangers than his own boyfriend.

After all, Christopher understood everything the boy was going through. He tried to be as apprehensible as possible; he gave Felix all time and space without ever neglecting him, even if he needed so few. Sometimes, the older quietly entered the room where Felix was studying only to left a bottle of fresh water and sliced fruits, so quietly that he was rarely noticed by the small one. He prepared Felix’s lunch before leaving and packed his things up. When Felix fell asleep in the living room for studying too much, he knew that was Christopher who had laid him in bed at night. Then he hated himself… And sometimes, in an anxiety crisis, he cried, disbelieved with how complicated he was to that man he loved so much.

It was the last day of his final exams, Felix was confident. He ate well and dressed up nicely. His examining board would be composed of the lovely professor who oriented him and two other teachers of his course. In the morning, he didn’t see his boyfriend. One more time, Christopher had left without saying goodbye to him. But he saw his note, a pink post it with “you are the best, good luck!” written with an ugly handwriting on the fridge. It was more than enough to warm his heart.

Felix was relaxed and ready to rock it, because he was the best for his _best_.

And Felix rocked it. The maximum grade, no correction or complaining by the examining board. He was euphoric. His exams were over and only had a few hours of internship left to the end of his semester. He decided that in the next morning he would complete these hours; after that he would finish bringing his things to Christopher’s house. And then… They could finally go back to what they were before.

In spite of being exhausted, Felix felt good. The weight of responsibility on his back was removed. Soon he would be back home.

“Lix?” The known voice called him from the hall, in the direction that would be from Chris' room – now the couple’s room.

“I’m home, hyung!” He answered excited, leaving the groceries on the kitchen counter.

“Come here, Lix.”

The serious tone made Felix frown his eyebrows.

When the boy knocked the door only to peek inside, he was surprised.

The room would be entirely dark if it wasn’t for the fairy lights delicately set in every corner of the room. They were beautiful; they had bluish and purplish tones, Felix’s favorite colors.

“What is it?” The boy smiled in excitement, slowly stepping the room.

“Did you like it?”

“Yes…”

“I saw on internet that cold tones are anxiolytics…” Christopher rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassment covering his face. “You are not sleeping well, baby… So I thought it could help? It is weird, I know…”

Felix laughed, getting closer to kneel in front of his boyfriend.

“Silly… I loved it, okay?” He caressed Chris’ hands, a dimpled smile appearing on the anxious face of the man in front of him.

“Really…?”

“Yes! You are so good to me…” Then Felix got up to sit next to him, his hands caressing his lover’s face. “You are the best… Always worried about me… Thank you, Channie…

“You’re welcome, prince.”

When Christopher hugged him tight, he noticed how he missed his chubby boy. They stayed like this for a while, exchanging affection and talking about their day. How Felix rocked in his presentation and how Chris’ promotion was getting closer.

Felix needed to stand up to take a shower, one of his boyfriend's big hoodie covering his body. He needed it to feel better, the feeling of being close to a thing that entirely smelled Christopher.

After that they ate together in the sofa, a soup full of vegetables and proteins to recharge Felix’ nutrients. A homemade recipe of the Bang family, Christopher made sure of asking the boy to eat it as many as he could.

When the older picked him up, filling him with kisses, Felix yawned, almost giving up to his sleepiness.

“Do you want to sleep now, baby?”

Felix denied. He didn’t want to sleep, because he just wanted to be with Chan, whatever they would be doing. He walked to the bed surrounded by fairy lights, snuggled under the soft sheets and waited for his boyfriend to put a movie on his notebook.

Chris was only wearing shorts when he held Felix against his chest, his eyes focused on the small screen of the notebook while Felix rested his head on the warm skin of the man.

“I love you, Channie…” Felix mumbled a little groggy with the manly smell of his boyfriend’s skin.

“Hm? Do you love me?” Christopher moaned, his big fingers caressing Felix’s hair.

“Ah, I love you…” He smiled, his lips running through the skin of Chris’ chest. “I love you so much… My big boyfriend Channie.”

Christopher took the notebook out of his lap only to put him on the bed table, the couple wasn’t interested in the movie anymore. He turned above Felix so easily that the boy didn’t even groan to complain, the big body of Chan at the top of him while slow kisses were placed in his freckled cheeks.

“I love so much my cinnamon roll too…” The older said, Felix’s tiny hands resting on his shoulders while Chris’ lips played with the neck of the boy.

Felix knew how Chan was turned on, it was impossible not to feel it when his boyfriend’s pelvis was pressed against his.

His chubby legs surrounded the man’s body; the muffled moans filling the room while Chris went down with wet sucks on Lix’s collarbones.

Christopher was possessive, he would leave a hickey on all exposed skin of Felix just to everyone knows that the boy was his. And Felix wouldn’t mind, because he would do worse, marking his boyfriend too.

“Turn the lights… Off…” Felix said between his moans, the older hands went inside the hoodie he was wearing.

“No.” And Chris said firmly, his lips caressing Felix’s neck.

“Turn it off, Channie…”

“No.” He looked at Felix, his face was with a serious expression. “There’s no light on, just the fairy glow.”

“I know, but turn it off…”

“Baby, I don’t want to do it in the dark. I want to see you, I want to see your skin, your body and everything. You think I didn’t think about it when I bought these lights?”

Felix was shocked. He didn’t imagine that Christopher would think about it; they were already used to it, right? Christopher knew how Lix felt about these things. And he would respect his choices. But the thing was: they always did it in the dark, mostly because Felix’ insecurities, he would be less judged by the person who’s with him. His boyfriend would understand…

“Why are you crying?”

Before he could realize, warm tears were falling down through his cheeks. He never saw Christopher so serious about something that in Felix’s mind seemed so silly.

The boyfriend wiped each warm tear in his face; kisses, apologies and sweet words whispered until Felix was calm. But Lix didn’t want apologies, he didn’t want the other to feel bad about something that wasn’t his fault. Felix just wasn’t ready.

How could his boyfriend understand that? Because Chris wasn’t the problem, but all his insecurities. All his childhood years he was criticized by the excess freckles, his fat body and his scary voice. All his teenage years he believed that he doesn’t deserved to be loved or he thought he should change just for someone to like him. When he tried to be really cool or smart because nobody would be attracted by his appearance.

When, without him noticing, Christopher fell in love. And, completely broken and small, Felix believed it was another lie. Or just another cruel joke like all the others where he was the victim.

It wasn’t Christopher’s fault if Felix was like that. And he couldn’t heal him, but the small Lee was already happy for seeing his boyfriend trying, because Bang always would make him feel loved, even if the insecurities remained for the rest of his life.

“Let’s sleep, love, you had a tiring day…”

Chris stroked his back while Felix sniffed against the older’s chest, his breathing coming back to the normal.

“No…” He whispered, his reddish eyes looking at Chris’ face. “I want it, Channie…” He said, his cheeks blushing and lips trembling.

The older one stared at him for a few seconds, a then he realized what the boy meant.

“No, love, you don’t need to.”

“I want it, I want it, Channie…” Lix was unquiet, sitting closer to his boyfriend. “I wanna make love with you, please…”

Chris held him tight, his two arms surrounding his baby’s waist. He approached his lips to the boy’s cheeks, smelling his sweet scent.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Lix was firm “I want it so, so much…”

“Alright…” Then Christopher smiled after leaving a small peck on the lips of the boy. “I want it so much too.”

_To Felix, this man had the most beautiful smile in the world, full of confidence and sweetness. In the past, he used to feel intimidated by Christopher’s charms. When they didn’t even know each other and his boyfriend was just the popular veteran of his campus; he always lowered his head when he passed by him, shyness and insecurity filling his mind._

_Christopher talked to him once at that time, when Felix felt embarrassed for being eating alone and left in the moment the older arrived with his friends at the refectory. Lix was so nervous that he forgot his cell phone, running before the veterans started talking about the lonely fatty in the first block._

_But nobody did it. He doesn’t know, but nobody did. Nobody but Christopher noticed him there. The older one saw when he was nervous and saw when he ran in the halls, and hurried after him to give his phone back. That was the first time the dimpled smile intimidated him directly – and the first time he felt his heart warming too._

“I’ll turn the lights off…” Christopher whispered after a deep kiss, the tiny hands of Felix pulling his hair curls.

“No…” Felix groaned in response, moaning when he felt his boyfriend’s hands in his hips.

“Baby, you don’t need to. I’m not upset…” He stopped only to look at the small one.”

“Do you love me?”

It was an aleatory question. He didn’t know if Felix wanted to cry, because his big eyes were now almost closed.

“Of course, I love you.”

“How much? How much do you love me?”

Felix lowered his face, unable to stare at him any longer.

“Baby…” But Chris made him look up, sincerity showing in his eyes when they looked at each other. “I love you more than anything in this world, did you know that?”

_The second time Christopher and Felix met each other was when the newbie had to take a copy. He didn’t know why the professor chose him to do this service, but he knew he should hurry before the other students arrived._

_“Hey, did you do what I asked?”_

_Too late. When the small boy looked to the side, he found the handsome veteran who gently gave his phone back to him a few weeks ago. _

_“Hey, Chris.” A man greeted him. “It’s almost done, wait just a moment, ‘kay? I’m finishing his order.”_

_The eyes of Bang immediately found his. Felix lowered his head quickly, he wasn’t used to be stared. In spite of that, he felt his skin burn under the veteran’s eyes firmly looking at him._

_So his name was Chris. Lix even heard some girls of his class talking about him, but he never paid attention to this name. They talked about how he was awesome and kind, how he was popular and surrounded by another handsome friends… And how he was a heartbreaker, ready to make any person fall in love with him without considering a reciprocity of his feelings._

_After some time, Felix finally understood that people could really fall in love at first sight with Christopher Bang – it wasn’t like he believed in that kind of thing. It’s just… He didn’t know, Chris had his brown curls; he was so pale that his skin shined in sunny days. He was always smiling or making the others smile and, even if he was alone, reading anything under the shadow of a tree, silent and concentrated, he was the most handsome man._

_“Here, it is $5,75.” The man handed him the material while Felix was counting the money that his professor gave him._

_“I…” He trembled with his eyes fixed on the coins in his hand. “I don’t have all…”_

_Damn teacher._

_“I complete.”_

_Lix didn’t believe when he heard it, his shocked eyes immediately finding the dark and gentle eyes of Christopher Bang._

_Felix was pale, but Christopher just gave him a small smile, dimples and kindness decorating his beautiful face._

_“No problem.” He said when turned to the person behind the service desk. “I complete it.”_

“God, you’re so beautiful…” Christopher took the left nipple of Felix in his mouth while his fingers played with the right one. “So beautiful… The most beautiful boy…” He repeated it like a mantra.

Felix moaned under him, his eyes were teary with the excitement. When the first tears fell, it wasn’t because of how sensitive he was or how Chris’ mouth worked so well on his belly, but the lovely words the other was saying every second; all his love overflowing with the most delicate touches.

_Felix wanted to be able to hate that veteran. That handsome and popular veteran who could easily delight any person, and Christopher didn’t even need to try, he never had a reason to be hated._

_He attracted people like a solar star, students and teachers orbited around him. People loved him even before knowing him, they wanted to be next to him, naturally attracted to his charisma._

_And even if Felix hated all the beautiful and popular people that made him what he was today, he couldn’t hate him, not Christopher Bang._

“M-more…”

“More, baby?”

Christopher smiled with teasing, his plump lips rubbing against the milky skin of one of Felix’s thick thighs.

“More…”

Felix looked amazing when he was seen from below. He had his big eyes covered by his tiny hands; sweat and saliva all over his chest that was painted with red spots. Christopher was the artist.

He looked down again and saw a wet spot on the blue boxer of his boy. A smile came to his lips before he rested them on the spot, the bittersweet taste of Felix spreading over his tongue. It was just a small suck and the small one whispered one more time, all his body shivering.

“M-more, Channie…”

Yes, he would do anything for his boy.

_The college hazing had to be called off since it went wrong some years ago. Now, the veterans applied solidarity actions: blood donation campaigns, collection of clothing and food, weekends in orphanages or nursing homes, reading for children and the elderly._

_In that year, Felix’s class was chosen for what they called “raising”. All the newbies would participate in a draw with their veterans to see who would be “raising” who. They entered in the newbie’s class at end of an introductory class and they introduced themselves quickly. It was almost the end of the semester, but it didn’t matter. Better late than never._

_Felix quietly watched each of his colleagues being called by the veterans. His heart was beating fast in fear of the moment when his name would be called out loud. Some girls were gossiping with giggles as they prayed to be called by Christopher, the veteran who, unanimously, was their favorite. Lix rolled his eyes as he saw every little paper being taken out of the box until the moment there was nothing left._

_He was never called, but no one noticed._

_“Why they didn’t call his name?” Or almost no one._

_Christopher whispered to another colleague. His name wasn’t called too to the infelicity of his fans._

_“I think they forgot to put his name in the draw…” The colleague whispered back. “Hey, Chris, what are you doing?”_

_It was too late when the veteran approached Felix. He was drawing in his notebook to hide the embarrassment he felt._

_“Hey, what’s your name?”_

_“Chris?” The colleague called him, but he didn’t notice._

_On the other hand, Felix couldn’t even look at him. He knew who it was and knew that all the class was looking at them. Panic was all he could feel._

_“Your name.” But Chris knelt in front of him, his eyes finding Felix’s and then an uncomfortable silence settled in the class._

_“F-Felix…”_

_“Hi, Felix.” The veteran smiled at him and raised his hand to the newbie. “My name is Christopher Bang and I am ‘raising’ you._

Christopher had proved many things in his twenty-two years of life, but none would ever top Felix's taste. He could live between his legs, savoring every inch of his boyfriend's small and delicate penis. How soft it felt in his tongue and how sweet his precum was, small veins around the bottom of his member and a cute and sensitive head. Christopher lost himself in the textures and flavors while the most beautiful moans were given to him as a small gift.

“Hey, baby…” He stopped for a moment to look at Felix.

Lix looked at him, anxiety in his expression while Christopher only smiled to make him relax.

The boyfriend climbed Felix’s body, leaving a trail of saliva along his way until they were face to face. The freckled cheeks of Felix ready to be kissed.

“Can you do something for me?” Chris gently asked, his fingers caressing the warm lips of the boy.

“Yes…”

“When I bend down again, I will raise and spread your thighs. Don’t hold them, okay? I want you to put them on my shoulders and just relax.”

“No, no, Channie…”

“Hey, hey…” Chris held firmly the boy’s nervous face with his hands, leaving new kisses on his blushed cheeks. “Calm down, baby. I just want you to relax, ok?”

“I will hurt you…” Felix closed his eyes tightly, the insecurity coming back to haunt him.

“You won’t hurt me, trust me. I love your thighs, did you know that? I want you to rest them comfortably on my shoulders and just enjoy…” He said gently, his thumbs caressing the chubby cheeks. “It won’t hurt me, okay? If that hurt me, I would definitely tell you. Right now, I just want to hold these beautiful thighs of my boyfriend while I give him some pleasure…

“Alright…”

Lix whispered embarrassedly seconds before Christopher make his way back to middle of the boy’s legs.

_He didn’t know if it was a good idea to let the veteran ‘raise’ him. People could see him now. When Felix was ready to spend five years in his course totally invisible, he became the center of the spotlights in his first semester. And all because Christopher couldn’t pass by him without having or smiling at him._

_“Hey, Felix. Do you want a ride?”_

_The small newbie was waiting in an abandoned seat in front of the campus. It was the only way that no other student used. So he was frightened when a known voice called him._

_“Hi! N-no… I mean...” _ _Felix _ _looked_ _ away, he still wasn’t able to look at any beautiful person without stuttering. “No, thank you. I’m waiting for my- someone…”_

_“Someone?” Chan smiled, noticing how he switched the words. Newbies and their insecurities._

_…_

_“Hi, Chris! What are you doing?”_

_One of Felix’s colleagues interrupted them. She was a pretty girl, and in a quick 3 second glance, Felix noticed how they would look amazing together._

_“I’m talking with Felix.” The veteran pointed with his chin to the boy that wasn’t looking them back._

_“Ah… Okay. Hi, Felix.” The girl said without any emotion. “Hey, could you give me a ride downtown with some friends? I know you make this way.”_

_Five seconds of a deadly silence were enough to Felix raise his head and look at the them. Christopher was still looking at him._

_“Felix? Will you come with me?”_

_He couldn’t answer him, the panic took over his body when all he could do was run in the opposite direction to those two beautiful and curious faces._

_Despite his fast steps, Felix still could hear Chris agreeing with the girl after being implicitly rejected._

_Lix hated himself for his attitude, how rude and awful he looked for those two. All afternoon long, he hid himself in the most abandoned part of campus, afraid of meeting Christopher again even if he knew that, at this time, nobody would be there._

_Felix felt a sudden urge to cry for being an idiot. An ugly and pathetic idiot that couldn’t even answer a simple question. Then his mother arrived and he thought it would be more convenient cry over his pillow’s room._

Christopher was good at everything. His lips felt so good and his tongue was the softer. He knew every sensitive spot of Felix’s body, rubbing gently on it with his mouth. He had big strong arms, which always seemed amazing when they surrounded Felix’s thick thighs. It was hard at the beginning, but the boy started to relax.

His legs rested on his lover’s large shoulders seemed big and heavy. He avoided looking so he wouldn’t feel guilty about it, even if Chris didn’t seem to mind it. Actually, the strong arms held the boy’s soft thighs, delicately spreading them until he had the access he wanted. With one hand, he grabbed the small and wet penis of Felix, his rough palm in contact with the pinkish head. With the other hand, he held Lix’s hips and separated his butt cheeks until his tongue was playing with the boy’s entrance, plump lips and rhythmic licks in his muscle ring. No inch was forgotten, from his perineum to the soft balls. Felix felt like nothing in the world was better than having Christopher Bang between his legs.

“C-channie…” His tiny hands held the blond curls of his lover. “There, Channie…”

“Hm…” Chris moaned with the member in his mouth, a delicious vibration running through his extension.

When Felix finally relaxed his thighs over the older’s shoulders, Chris smiled and felt happy for this victory, even if seemed like nothing. Felix trusted him and just relaxed, his beautiful thick thighs pressing over the strong shoulders.

“You are so beautiful…” Chris left kisses on his legs, his nose rubbing the soft skin while both hands stimulated Lix’s penis and anus. “Really… You are the most beautiful… So soft…” He bit the skin, Felix gasped in response. “Mine… All mine…”

_Felix hated soccer. He really hated it, but even if his father loved it with all his forces and sometimes brought him to see the games at the weekends, he just accepted to eat hot dogs or not to be alone at home. Felix hated soccer, but he loved his dad._

_It happened that all the teachers called their classes off, because it was the semi-finals. The campus was in euphoria, because, for the first time in years, the institution team had come so far in a championship. Guess who was the big star of the team? Yes, that’s it, Christopher Bang._

_Felix tried to find a seat to him in the grandstand, but there was none, of course. He never saw so many people gathered in one place. He didn’t even know if it was possible having that much of students in one university. Probably outsiders came too, what could explain the overcrowded place._

_Felix really hated soccer, but he didn't stop getting excited when the team of his campus entered the stadium. His eyes shining with every veteran he could recognize._

_In the center, the most beautiful of all of them. The people were crazy when Christopher waved._

_Lix hated soccer, but the time flew. He really enjoyed it, forgetting for a moment all the hours of studying he had to compensate after that game._

_All the players were amazing. Right, he was not a parameter for judging talent, but it didn’t matter. All of them were amazing. Christopher was, undeniably, the best._

_Just under thirty minutes to the end of the game, the star of the team scored his fourth goal and he took the team to the finals. The people, of course, vibrated crazily._

_But it was also in those thirty minutes to the game’s end that Chris saw him for the first time, excitement and happiness in his sweaty face while he got rid of his ruined shirt._

_“Hey, Felix!” Chris shouted many meters away. “Did you like this goal?”_

_The boy cringed in his own seat, red like a tomato, while all the thousands of faces turned to see him._

Felix pressed more and more his thighs against Christopher as he was getting closer. His lips were swollen, his fingers holding tight the messy curls of his man. Tears and sweat overflowing from his body. He was shaking from head to toe, desperately wishing that Christopher would be kind and let him cum.

But the older slowed his movements on purpose, slight sucks were left on the sensitive head between Chris’ lips.

“Channie… Please…” The rough moan that escaped from Felix mouth made Chris’ penis twitch inside his underwear.

He wanted to test his limits, but also wanted to give Felix the world.

“A little bit more, baby…” Chris whispered while pressed his fingers against his boyfriend’s thighs. His hands marking the pale skin. “Hold on a little longer for me…”

Just a little bit more while he finished marking the beautiful legs of his boy, and then he gave Felix all what the small one wanted. He took it whole in his mouth, sucking it as if his life depended on it, caressing the right spots.

Lix pressed his thick thighs around Chan, all his insecurity disappearing from his body when he felt it in his belly. So fast and so sweet… He saw the paradise.

It was a violent orgasm like any other, but extremely gratifying to both of them. Christopher cleaned him with his tongue, kissing him until the boy started to shiver from his hypersensitivity.

The older’s jaw hurt a little bit, his scalp too, but he didn’t care, Chris felt amazing. Only Felix made him feel like this.

_Felix would take a hard test in an hour. He spent weeks studying like crazy – it wasn’t like he didn’t it all his life. His anxiety made him ate twice during the week. Eat a lot and sleep a little. His pimples were pumping his face while he tried to memorize those weird topics._

_“Hey, blondie.” The waitress called him from the balcony._

_For a moment, Felix ignored her, thinking she was talking with another person, but when she insisted, he raised his eyes from the scribbled notebook. His glasses were sliding down his nose._

_“Yes?”_

_“The hottie one sent you this.”_

_The girl put a piece of paper on Felix’s notebook and left before he could ask her an explanation. There was something written in almost ineligible scribbles:_

_“Do you want to come to the party of my team? ( ) yes!! or ( ) of course!_

_Ps. I don't take **no** for an answer.”_

_When Felix raised his head, he found the smile that he knew so well. Among the amount of satellites that orbited him, the big star Christopher waved._


	2. a song about being sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all support and good reading! ♥

Chris carefully adjusted his boy's body as he stood out from the middle of his legs. He looked up at Felix and was surprised to see him looking back, exhaustion and lust on his face.

The Australian rubbed the corners of his mouth with the back of one hand, smiling in pure satisfaction at the boy. Felix smiled back, opening his arms and inviting him to snuggle up with him.

Soon they were kissing, Christopher's swollen lips gently sliding over Felix's soft ones.

"You did very well..." Chris complimented him between a kiss. "So good..." His hands around his boyfriend caressing every curve of his cute belly. "I love your taste, love, I love you all ..." And contoured his sensitive nipples until he reaches the freckled cheeks.

Felix was not that good with answers, so he just smiles. He never knew how to respond to compliments. It was a typical temperament for those not used to receiving them. Then he just rubbed his nose at Chan's, an overwhelming urge to cry with love.

“Can I?” One of his knees brushed between his boyfriend's legs. “Make Channie feel good...”

"You always do, baby..." Chan smiled in response as he lifted the boy’s chin with one hand to bite it and kiss him. “But today is Channie who will make you feel good...”

_It was the last weekend before the holidays. Felix didn't know why the hell he was there. He has spent the last few days avoiding the veteran and especially the idea of showing up at a campus party._

_The Athletics was the university's sports team. Talented people of all kinds. Talented and amazing. Beautiful and popular, smart and dear. Felix thought he could be anything but any of them._

_He shyly entered the grass field. At least it was a good night. Many stars in the sky contrasting with the colorful lights of the place. There was a large fire pit in the center and people around. The music was loud, but not bad. It was comfortable, even. It was just the style Felix liked._

_He thought it would be more chaotic. Lots of drinks, tumult, mess, a pool full of noisy people or whatever shit teenagers make in the movies his fellow Republicans watched. But it wasn’t. It was just an intimate, cozy gathering with a big full moon in the sky and barbecue and beer on the side stands._

_There was a problem, however. Felix had no friends, and even though he had been invited by his sponsor, he knew he was fated to spend the night alone._

_Felix settled as far away from the fire as he could - which was the local with the largest concentration of students. There were many familiar faces, but no one that mattered. Almost nobody. He recognized the exact place where Christopher was. Well, the place where the veteran sat on his back. He would have recognized him anywhere, his hair now dyed but still curly, his neck pale and beautiful. Beautiful like everything else._

_The team star settled on a log near the fire pit. All his beautiful and popular friends around him, rich girls so as beautiful as him, even a teacher in the middle of them. Lix could never compete for some of his attention, and even if he could, it wasn't as if his presence was any big deal._

_He began to think Chan might have invited him to be kind. Just because his sweet, sociable personality didn't know how to ignore him as much as the whole world ignored him. Anyway, he just wanted to be seen, at least to let Chan know that despite his regrets, he went for accepting his invitation._

_It was in a quick moment of Felix's distraction that Christopher finally saw him. His wide, dimpled smile gave him the most beautiful welcome._

_“Hey, Felix! You came.” Chris walked over to sit beside him._

_“Yes... I... I just arrived here.” He lied._

_"Ah, that’s why I haven't seen you before. Want to sit with us?”_

_“No, no!” Shit. “I mean... Here's good, really.”_

_“Right.” Christopher sighed, his body settling more comfortably on the trunk they were on. Stretched back and free arms. "Then in this case, I'll stay here with you."_

_“What? No, really...”_

_“Chris.” A third. “Can you help me change the playlist?”_

_It was a skinny boy with crooked teeth who approached without their noticing. Almost as if ignoring Felix's presence, he and Christopher began talking casually. Felix knew him by sight, he was one of the Australian's many best friends. Han-something._

_“Changbin can't help you?”_

_"Dude, he kinda..." The boy paused the moment he noticed Lee's presence, so he crouched down and whispered to his best friend. "He kind of shit himself, you know? Minho just came from the toilets. The place is unusable…” Which didn't work out so much because Felix listened and couldn't hold back the restrained laugh he gave._

_“Ah, shit... Literally.” Chan said, smiling at Felix. “Can you wait here? I'll be back soon.”_

_“Yeah...”_

_"Okay." The veteran stood beside Han, his curls swaying in the evening breeze. - Wait a minute, okay? I bring something for us to eat and drink.”_

_“I’ll wait...”_

_“Great. I'll be right back, Lix!”_

_It was the first time he'd heard anyone but his family call him that._

People generally hated the preparation part. All the stickiness of the lubricant and the slow ritual of inserting finger by finger as your cock boils with need to replace them.

Patience was the word of the moment. Patience to do everything right and, in the end, both can enjoy the expected moment.

Anyway, Christopher loved the preparation part. Over the years, he's gotten used to doing everything in the dark. In the dark, his hands ran down Felix's body; in the dark, he would look for the jar and pour the gel through his fingers; also in the dark, he would locate his boyfriend's ass and begin the ritual. It was complicated at first, but nothing like the experiences to make you almost a pro. And when your body is deprived of one sense, all others intensify. So the darkness wasn't all bad at all.

That would be the first time he wouldn't work in the dark. Christopher was anxious, the feeling was aphrodisiac. He kissed Felix passionately before sliding back down his body, the jar of lube already in his hands. God, he loved those lights with all of his being. The colors were ideal, contrasting perfectly with his boy's darker skin. Lix looked amazing on the bed, his serene face and light-purple lips, almost a painting of Monet. His skin shined like the stars in the sky; the little galaxy of his freckles elevating him to the image and likeness of a heavenly angel. Felix's beauty was unfair, almost ethereal. And all his.

_Christopher wouldn't be long, but when you feel unwanted in an environment, you believe you should be anywhere but being there. Felix watched the veteran talking to his colleagues. He had this natural magnetism that made people accumulate around him._

_Lix hoped for him to be distracted, too busy with some girls to care that anyone was still waiting for him. The boy looked at the dry bottom of the plastic cup one last time, his belly growling, but with no courage to mingle for searching anything to eat. He looked at his watch too; It was still early, but if he didn't get out right now, he'd miss the third season premiere of his favorite series._

_Felix snorted, his face turning to Chris. That day he was stupidly handsome; it was even offensive. The veteran usually wore black. Not then, he was wearing light jeans, a plain white shirt with no charm, but that looked amazing on his moon-pale skin. Or maybe it was the light of the bonfire, reflecting in its soft and fluttering curls._

_Who did Felix want to fool? Christopher wouldn't be back, because Christopher was handsome. Very cute. And beautiful people don't keep promises._

“Are you okay?” When the first finger penetrated, Lix choked for a second.

"Yes, yes..." He smiled confidently, relaxing his body to accept the intruder.

“If it hurts, you can talk, baby...”

“It's not hurting, continue...”

Christopher pulled it out only to penetrate again, more lube pouring over the muscle ring. Lix didn't hold back the moan this time, his eyes rolling as Chris twisted the digit and hit the right place inside him.

It was always so easy to find him... Christopher knew him from the bottom to top.

“O-one more...”

The Australian pulled the boy's legs farther apart, a pillow under his hip. He stroked his thigh with one hand, the other busy preparing Felix. The little one didn't complain when the second finger entered more easily than the first, by the way. Just a moan. A tasty moan that Chris loved too.

_“Where are you going?” The touch on his wrist startled him more than the alarmed voice that called from behind his back._

_Felix just figured he wouldn't be missed._

_"Ah..." He stopped to turn around. “Sorry, I... I'm going home.”_

_“Why?” When he realized how tense the boy seemed to look at the strange hand on his wrist, Chris released him. “Why? It's early, Felix. You just arrived...”_

_“Because... I'm not feeling well... And I still have to study.”_

_"Lix, we're on vacation, I don't know if you remember..." He laughed, but there was no humor in Lee's pale face._

_“I really need to go, sorry.”_

_When Felix turned his back to continue on his way, Chris, determined not to let him take another step, grabbed him again._

_“Do you hate me?”_

_“What?”_

_“Really, Felix.” This time he wouldn't let him go. “I feel that you hate me. I try to get closer, but you just keep pushing me away...”_

_Lix didn't know what to say, he didn't even know how to react to the question, his mouth opening and closing a handful of times without uttering a word._

_“No, I just... I just don't understand, that's all...”_

_He felt his eyes water, his little hands clenching his wrinkled jeans for hours on a log._

_Chris came closer. His handsome, curious face approaching so that his eyes met Felix's, as much as the other just kept running away._

_"What don't you understand, Lix?"_

_"I don't understand..." He wondered if he should speak, but there was no reason to lie. At worst, Chris would just walk away forever. It was not bad at all. "I don't understand why someone like you... would approach someone like me."_

_"I don't like the way you talk, but I want you to know that I have reasons to want to approach you."_

_Felix smiled at the words, though a little discredited. The urge to cry disappeared because Christopher was serious. And he never seemed to lie when he was serious._

_"Like making me feel less out of place for being someone without friends?"_

_“No? I think…” Chris abused a little more just to tuck a blond strand of Lix's straight hair behind one of his flaming ears. "Like I'm kind of in love with you."_

Felix's hypersensitivity was a double-edged knife. While he felt pleasure with minimal contact, he could also feel pain. So Christopher took all the time necessary to make him feel good. As anxious as he was, he could never skip the stages of preparation. And Felix appreciated his boyfriend's care, trying to complain as little as possible when his fingers invaded.

"This... You're doing fine, love..." Chris smiled at him, a third finger settling inside Felix.

“You can move, Channie...”

“Slow down, my angel... Are you ok?”

“Yeah...”

“How nice.” He smiled, his face lowering just to kiss the center of the fluffy belly. “A very patient boy...”

Three sticky fingers now invaded him. Three big thick fingers of Christopher. The feeling was never the best at first, but the older man knew how to do it, concentrating on rubbing his prostate and complimenting it on the slightest effort, which always distracted him from the discomfort. Lix was erect again and was flooded with the feeling of power. When the most handsome man in the world was between his legs, his careful and attentive eyes directed only at him, Felix felt like a god.

_For the first six days, Felix did not sleep. And all month long, he ignored any outside contact with the world._

_His mother no longer lived in the country and now he had to live with half a dozen noisy boys in a student republic. It was difficult almost always, but on vacation, everything fell silent. He was the only one who remained in place._

_Felix took the time to rearrange his thoughts. His course was almost halfway through; He had a vague idea of what he wanted to do when it was over. His neurons were already working on subjects for CBT. Scientific articles and other works made him the darling of teachers. Throughout his college years, the boy might not have collected friends, even incredible memories. But he would come out with a flawless curriculum and, after all, that's all that counted up front. Right?_

_It turns out that something had been bothering him for weeks: Christopher Bang's confused words._

_That full moon night, he didn't get to understand what the veteran wanted to tell him. He just listened and shivered a little, all before stumbling over his own feet to run as fast as possible. At first he thought it was some joke of Christopher, though the man was so serious the moment he declared himself._

_"Like I'm kind of in love with you." Sometimes he would wake up sweating in the middle of the night, the fateful phrase ringing in his mind._

_There was no sense there. In a world where the beautiful Christopher Bang is surrounded by amazing people, it made no sense to fall in love with someone like Felix. Felix wanted to believe his words, but they just made no sense at all._

_And that annoyed him._

Christopher liked to play producer. On any given day, he recorded Felix's moans and created a melody. On his dating anniversary, he presented him with a finished song. Lix almost didn't believe it, perplexity all over his reddened face was nowhere near the bad words his beautiful mouth uttered.

Anyway, nothing would change the fact that, for Christopher, his boyfriend's moans were his favorite noises. As he rolled his big almond eyes, his little hands pressing the white sheet beneath him as inaudible words faded in the sweet grunts of pleasure.

Chris was straightforward, his four-finger fleeting penetration and masturbation at the same pace as he passionately followed the reactions of his boy's body.

"Here, baby..." He slowed, the tip of three of his four fingers brushing the swollen prostate. “Here is good?”

“Y-Yes... Oh my God, Chris...”

"God..." Chris returned to the acceleration, his other hand pressing on the wet glans of his boyfriend's small penis. “You're the most sensitive, Felix...”

“I’m... I'm ready...”

His legs closed against Christopher's arms. Felix knew it only took a few more minutes to cum again and he didn't want to have to do it without his boyfriend inside. Felix wanted to cum, holy shit, he wanted to cum so badly, but he also wanted it to be with Christopher.

“All ready for me, baby?”

"All ready..." He gasped at the feeling of other fingers emptying his insides. - All ready for you, Channie...”

_The holidays were over and the work and stress returned in full force. Felix took advantage of the teachers' dismissal to advance some subjects. Unfortunately, one of them asked students for a review of the latest game of Athletics._

_And that was why Lix was now battling the low space of the stands to answer his exercises before the game began._

_“Is that the one Chris is ‘raising’?” A girl there are two chairs away asked her friend._

_“Yeah. They say Chris chose him.”_

_“He's so weird...”_

_“Right? He looks more horrible when he's with Chris by his side.” Laughter._

_Even with the headphones, Felix was still able to hear. At any other time, he would not have cared. Or would have pretended not to care, just to get home and cry a little against a pillow. But back then, he couldn't ignore the fact that he was now associated with the most handsome veteran that campus had ever met._

_“Hey, Felix.”_

_The little one had no time to hurt himself when the reason for all his insecurities had simply showed up beside him._

_“C-Chris...?”_

_“Me. How you doing?”_

_There were a lot of empty seats in that area of the bleachers, but right beside him, Christopher thought it would be a good idea to sit down._

_Anyway, he looked amazing. Her curls were lighter, still blond and fluttering. His skin, naturally always pale and shiny, now carried a golden sun. Some beach on vacation, maybe. And for — not — for a change, he remained as charming as he always had been, the smell of expensive perfume and his long, strong arms under a black tank top._

_“Well, I... I think.”_

_“How nice.” Chris smiled back, not as big as he used to do a few weeks ago, but a still beautiful smile. Shy dimples at the sides of thick lips. “How was your vacation? You look pale...”_

_The worried look that reached him was curious, but no more than the warm hand on his forehead._

_“Good!” He exasperated, his notebooks falling to his feet._

_Some people laughed behind them, but Felix didn't care. He liked it, by the way. Because Christopher turned to them and made the scariest expression Felix had ever seen him do. And they fell silent. They shut up because it was Christopher. And no one annoyed Christopher._

_“Aren't you going to play today?” Felix caught his attention._

_“No, I asked for a dismissal from Athletics.”_

_“Seriously? Why? I thought you liked it...”_

_His cheeks warmed as the veteran's small canine eyes turned to him, though gentler now._

_“I like it, but it’s the end of the course, you know? CBT and such things”_

_“Ah.”_

_Lix didn't know what to say anymore. He turned his attention to the notebooks and pretended to study as he struggled not to show anxiety. Christopher's silence didn't help much, although he seemed to be entertained by the game starting on the field._

_Felix wondered for a moment if he should ask him about his vacation too. Or about your mood. He realized that he never did that. It was always Chris asking anything about Felix and short answers being given._

_He also wanted to know his veteran._

_“Chris, I-”_

_"Are you going to do something after here?" Unaware that he was interrupting him, the Australian spoke. “Oh, sorry. You can talk...”_

_“No... No, that's fine, it was nothing. And no, I won't do anything after here, because I need to go home...”_

_It was curious to notice how Christopher's hands seemed to tremble as well._

_"Hm..." He rubbed the back of his neck, his Adam's apple rising slowly as his eyes were lost far behind Felix. “Can I... Can I leave you home then?”_

_The little one did not expect the question. He widened his eyes without realizing as he processed the words he had heard. In fact, he only sought the slightest sense in them._

_“Well, somebody is-”_

_"Felix, I see you taking the bus every day... It's just a ride."_

_It was true. Lix was thoughtful, so no more excuses to give. He opened his mouth a few times thinking of the best answer, but nothing came out for a change._

_“Chan! Hey!” The scrawny boy of that night interrupted them again, and another short, intimidating-looking boy strapped to his shoulders. - Minho will give a social after the game, you coming?_

_Before even answering it, Chris turned to Felix._

_"Do you want to go, Felix?"_

_“Is this Felix?” The short one. “Your freckles are cute.”_

_Lix blushed._

_“Thank you...”_

_“He's very weird.” Jisung. “Only Chan hyung can talk to him.”_

_“He's not weird, Jisung. The name of this is shyness.”_

_"And what do you know about shyness, Changbin?"_

_“Fuck it. He is more handsome than you.”_

_The little Felix had heard every word of the little discussion, though Christopher seemed to care less. He was still busy with Felix's almond-shaped eyes, seriously waiting for the answer to the previous question._

_“No, I'm going home...”_

_"Okay." Chris turned to the two friends. "You heard, I'm leaving Felix at home."_

Felix was ready. He watched the exact moment Chris got out of bed to remove the black boxer. The swollen penis is much larger than his, bouncing against his defined abdomen. He salivated. And Christopher noticed.

"Channie..." His call came out like a needy growl, his eyes glazed over how handsome and majestic his beautiful lover's shining blue and purple body looked.

He suddenly loved the fairy lights too.

“Do you like it, baby?” He smiled smugly before jumping back to the boy.

“Yes, I like it, I really want it...”

A long, delicate kiss filled with lust and feelings was shared before Chris repositioned himself between his plump legs.

"Then I'll give it to you, love."

_Lix didn't believe Chris was serious, but it was five minutes to the end of the game and he was still by his side. Although quiet, sleepy, and even uncomfortable with the chairs he never sat because he was used to being in the center of the grass._

_“Hey, Lix.” Then when Chris called him, the boy was startled almost to the point of losing control of his own notebooks again. “I'll be back soon, I'll just go to the bathroom.”_

_“’kay.” He nodded, eyes fixed on Bang's tired expression._

_“Can you save my seat?” He even asked that when there were so many empty chairs around them._

_“Okay.”_

_..._

_When Christopher returned, Felix was no longer there._

Felix also saw the exact moment his handsome boyfriend reached over to get a condom. For any couple, light was little, but for those two, so used to doing everything in the dark, it was enough for Lix to see every little detail of the most beautiful naked body he'd ever seen in his life.

_"Should I get used to see you running away from me?" Chris laughed, though the laugh had no humor at all._

_Felix did not understand._

_“I said I didn't need the ride, Chris hyung...”_

_"Well, you don't have to take the ride." The Australian came over to sit beside him, a hard, cold stone bench was all they had there. “Besides, it's dark. I will not leave you alone here.”_

_"Chris, God, you live across town."_

_"But I have a car, Felix, so it doesn't matter where I go."_

_“Look...” Lix pulled away a bit. "I think I know what you're trying to do, but it won't work. I ask you to stop it because it's not cool.”_

_“Stop with what? I do not understand, Felix.” Chris stood up too, the boy's sudden distance bothering him._

_“Trying to be nice. It's your last year of school, Chris.” He calmed down for air. "I know you're brilliant and selfless, but it's your last year here, dammit ... You don't have to take this ‘raising’ thing seriously anymore. So please, that's not cool, you think you're helping, but it's only making things worse.”_

_The veteran suddenly changed, though he kept his tone low. His face, always so pale and serene, carried a strong shade of pink on his cheeks, the veins in his neck exploding. His lungs as restless as his own chest._

_“Felix... That's not what you're thinking. I always cared about you, it's not about ‘raising’ or anything...”_

_"No, no...” Lix tried not to break. "You don't care, do you? You're kind of self-centered... You give me a little attention because it makes you feel amazing... You like being with me in public, because everyone looks at you and everyone sees how much more beautiful you look when you're around side of someone like me. Or because people think so much that you're a nice person to be with me... You don't care, Chris, let's be honest...” Lix choked on the few tears, little hands covering his reddened eyes. "Can you stop kidding me? It's best for both of us...”_

_For a moment Chris was speechless, so puzzled that his most basic bodily functions stopped working. He had never seen Felix so agitated, he had not even seen him talk so much. It was shocking, negatively speaking, terrifying. But nothing compared to the sensation of being there, standing alone in the darkness of the night, watching him go away forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know your thoughts ♥


	3. Delicate.

Chris cut the package off with his teeth; It was sexy. One hand caressing his erection while the other removed the small latex material from the little black package.

From so many attractive points, Lix wasn't sure where to look. His boyfriend on his knees a few inches away was crazy. He was sure no other man in the world would ever get to his level.

It was only when Chan began to unroll the condom along his own cock that the boy came back to reality.

"No, Channie..." He murmured, attracting Chris's attention. “No.”

“No what, love?”

“Without condom...”

“Without it?” The Australian raised an eyebrow without understanding his lover's point, fingers caressing the inside of Felix's thighs. “Why not, baby? You do not prefer with it?”

"No." Lix stretched his arms, a silent request for a hug. “I want no condom, because I want to feel Channie.” Then Chris hugged him promptly, his face sinking into the neck of his needy boy. "I want to feel Channie completely inside me."

"Wow..." Chris tightened his arms around the boy. "That was the sexiest thing you ever told me."

“Silly.” Loving little punches on the other's broad shoulders.

_He knew he would find him there. Felix might not know so much about Christopher Bang, but about one thing he was sure of: that secular hose was undoubtedly his favorite tree._

_Chris rested below it. On less warm days it used to be more comfortable, but in the evenings, like that, it still was. Some dried leaves falling in the breeze of the season. Lix sighed deeply, making sure he no longer cried as he traced silent steps toward his veteran._

_Chris was like a painting. So pure and genuine in the light of the early stars he would almost overshadow them._

_For so many times Lix saw him there. Sometimes reading, sometimes just listening to music. But every time, alone. The little one concluded that this, perhaps, was his personal space. The common place we run to when we are not excited for life._

_“Hey, Chris.”_

_Lix called him gently, his eyes showing a certain fear of frightening him. But even with the headphones, Chris felt him approach. Something about the autumn breeze bringing Felix's sweet smell to him._

_“Hey, Lix.” He answered as he put his headphones away, his back against the broad trunk of his tree. “You came back.”_

_“Yes, I...”_

_Felix was shaking a little, his cheeks burning with anxiety. On another occasion Chris would have found it lovely, but at that moment he really worried._

_“What happened?”_

_When one of the Australian's big hands reached his small fingers, Felix thought it would panic, but that's not what happened. He felt safe._

_“I was thinking... About what I said... I want to apologize.”_

_Simple words loaded with sincerity. The night was cold, but Christopher's heart burned._

_“Hey, for what? Do not worry, okay? I'm not mad or upset...” Christopher was always so soft... Felix didn't deserve it. "You were honest, you told me how you felt, and that was important, right? I didn't know it made you so uncomfortable... I'm sorry if I made you feel that way.”_

_"No, that's not it, Chris..." Lix rubbed his face, the words he wanted so badly to have been able to say, dying at the beginning of his throat. “You do not make me uncomfortable, just... I can’t explain...”_

_The urge to cry was coming back little by little. He hoped it wouldn't happen, that he wouldn't cause a scene or that he wouldn't break in front of the nicest boy he'd ever met, but Felix also hoped that when he was in front of Christopher Bang, many unexpected things could happen._

_“Hey, hey, don't cry, please...”_

_The hug that followed was something new for Lee. No one but his parents or uncles hugged him before. Felix had just allowed Christopher to cross an insurmountable barrier._

_But it felt good, almost like a hot Australian summer afternoon of his childhood. It was like being at home._

_"Every time I've made you feel small..." He whispered against his wet face. “I really want to apologize.” Gentle fingers brushing Felix's blond hair. "But I also want you to know..." Christopher's scent enveloping Lix in a cloak of peace. "That I never lied or took advantage of you..." And the autumn breeze giving more comfort to that hug. "Because, really, I just wanted to be near you."_

_Felix gasped, so confused and so lost. Bang's firm hands caressing him as best he could; rubbing his back, giving him the comfort the little one needed._

_Lix appreciated the contact and let himself cry a little bit; Neither wanted to walk away, so neither did._

_“Can I ask you a question?”_

_“Sure.”_

_When Felix relaxed, Chris made room for him to settle against the trunk._

_“On that day... About that... What you said... Did you mean it? About... Well, about...”_

_"About me being in love with you?" Chris smiled, but it was no mockery or anything. It was sweet, almost paternal. That same feeling of being at home. “Yes, Felix, I meant it. I'm in love with you.”_

_The first time he heard it, Lix didn't believe such words, mentally replaying them for weeks. But that second time... He didn't feel weird, or anything. No, he did feel something, actually. But not a bad thing. He felt purity. It was a good feeling._

_"It's so weird ..." Felix smiled, unable to look back at him, a few blond strands of his bangs ruffling in the breeze. "I mean... why would someone fall in love with me?"_

_“Why wouldn't someone fall in love with you?”_

_Lix would never know how good Christopher was with words. He thanked him for coming back, because they were there now. Half embarrassed, half red and half messy. But warm and filled with good things._

_There was no reason for anyone to fall in love with Felix, he thought, but there were many that someone would fall in love with Christopher._

_Felix didn't need one at all._

Lix loved to feel loved. And Chris loved to love him. They were the perfect match. The older man had almost lost track of how many kisses and little marks had been left on his boy's body, because, I don't know, in his mind that was like his great love. And there goes Christopher one more time.

"Channie..." Felix moaned, his little hands pushing Christopher through his hair in the direction of what really mattered. “Enough, it hurts...”

“I know you like it, baby.” He licked a long strip on the side of Felix's folds, rediscovering freckles he never even imagined he would possess in those corners. "I know you like how I love everything about you."

_“Can I try something?” Chris moved closer and closer to ask, his warm breath gently reaching Felix's little face._

_“It depends.” The little one laughed, cheeks always flushed. “It will hurt?”_

_“Well, I hope not.” He smiled back, many beautiful teeth and deep dimples._

_“Try it then.”_

_“Right.” He took Felix's small hands in his own. “Close your eyes a little.”_

_“Oh no, no...”_

_“It's quick, Lix. I swear…” Chris made his best doggy expression, but it wouldn't work with Felix, certainly not._

_“Ok, ok...” Or so he thought._

_Four seconds later. Christopher's lips were pressed against his. There, a doubt of years was solved. They were softer than Felix ever imagined._

_“C-Chris... What was that...”_

_“Did you like it?” Chris smiled after a little sigh, his eyes glazed on the pretty expression of a shy Lix._

_“I... Yes, I did like it.”_

_“Can I give another one?”_

_He kissed him before Felix allowed him._

_But that's fine, because Felix returned it. Again, and again and again._

_And at some point, in their eighth kiss, they both let their mouths slowly open. And, by the way, Felix never imagined that his first experience could be so sweet. He thought of something more chaotic, like all his other experiences throughout his life._

_When tongues touched it wasn't weird or disgusting or clumsy. It was natural, as if they were intimate. Christopher, on many occasions - and with due permission - was thrilled. Licking Lix's soft lips to slide his tongue down the handsome boy's rounded jaw, leaving kisses from his collarbone to the base of his neck, teeth brushing over a more sensitive spot in the untouched region,_ _until a long lick was from that very spot to the lobe of one of his little ears. Lix moaned softly, the new sensations making him shiver._

_When Christopher pulled the lobe of that same ear between his teeth, his hands slid down Felix's arms until they reached his shoulders and down his back. Felix's, however, went to the nape of Christopher's head and settled there, the softness of the golden curls that tumbled between his fat fingers as he enjoyed the sensation of having his lobe caressed with his tongue as well._

_Christopher lowered his hands just a little more until they reached where he wanted, the little Felix's narrow hip._

_"Nah..." He protested between kisses, saliva on the way._

_"Shh... Alright, alright..." Christopher protested back, the thought of having to move away terrifying him._

_..._

_Felix never thought living this was possible, but it was. Christopher made it possible. He held Lix's hips firmly and, with the ease that only a great man would have, he took him in his arms, slowly bringing the chubby boy to his own lap. It was a good surprise for Felix because he loved it so much._

_He truly loved the fact that Christopher made him feel so small and light in his bear hug._

_"My ..." Bang claimed him on the third minute pause of a single kiss, his eyes alive against Lee's living eyes._

Christopher stopped the teasing, his erection exploding through his pale thighs. So purple and aching that when he released, he would come for hours. Seriously, no exaggeration.

He reached the center of Felix's legs, a few more caresses reinforcing the marks previously left.

“I'm so happy to look at you, baby, these lights... You're so beautiful, more beautiful than anyone I've ever met in my life...”

Felix didn't breathe well. He was anxious and very sensitive, although he was still able to hear each of his boyfriend's words.

"I'm really lucky to have you..." His hands caressed his thick thighs to pull them away, a needy moan from Felix excited him with the thought of what the next steps would be. “Just for me, right, love?” Chris also caressed the small pink hole. It was still damp, but he poured some more lubricant on him and his cock to ease the whole process. "My beautiful boy..." His glans rubbing lightly at the entrance, eyes fixed on Felix's reactions. “The most beautiful boy in the world is mine...”

“Yours, C-Channie ...!” He arched his back ...

“**Mine**.” Because Christopher finally started to come in.

_They didn't know what they had, but they had something. Felix was too shy to respond in public to Christopher's caresses - but he wanted, he wanted so much - while Christopher was too transparent to pretend not to caress Felix._

_Anyway, Felix began to appreciate the attention._

_He felt powerful when many envied him for being in Christopher's eye center. He felt the best when Chris brought him snacks or waited on his way out to leave him at home. He felt like a god when, for the first time in his life, so many people knew him when he didn't even know who half of them were._

_He felt like someone when Chris proudly introduced him to anyone he knew while his fingers were tightly intertwined._

_In the not too distant past, Felix thought that if he gave in to his first attempts at friendship with Christopher, he would end up in a very different scenario. And that frightened him. But now he didn't care anymore, now he liked it. He liked it because it wasn't just friendship anymore. That was what they had._

_Unfortunately, Chris was about to graduate, soon he would no longer be on campus. Believe me, it scared him more than Felix himself. Suddenly the thought of seeing his boy again lonely in the hallways filled him with annoyance. Tests, TCC, graduation ... Nothing came close to imagining his precious Felix alone._

_Then Christopher began - trying - to insert Lix more vigorously into his vast social circles. Even under protest, he took Felix to parties and parties where half the town was. Even though he was exhausted, he would hold Felix's hand and drag him to the house of some influential friend Chris hoped would protect him when he was no longer around. No matter, Chris would do it even if Lix protested._

_It didn't work most of the time, because when Felix wasn't grumbling or bored, he was kissing with Christopher in some secluded corner of the place. Anyway, people eventually got used to the boy's presence. Jisung and Changbin mainly, students whose Christopher was veteran._

_Felix eventually bonded._

Christopher entered slowly, though his instincts begged him to go faster. That was the hard part, fighting his less rational part so as not to hurt his boyfriend; his ears always alert to the beeps of Felix.

But now it seemed easier, now he could see it too. Now he saw how pure and beautiful the boy's anxious expression was. How intense and exciting his trance face was.

"M-more..." The little one begged even though he was uncomfortable, his arms raised to Christopher. “More, Channie...”

"Almost..." Chan gasped, half of his cock already graced by Felix's warm walls. “Almost there, baby...”

_Felix never imagined he could live that kind of experience before thirty. Don't get him wrong, it just wasn't something he longed for so much. Felix did not even have romantic interests throughout his life. Always focused on avoiding people._

_But he figured that if he ever went to live this, he wanted it to be someone he was so in love with. Someone who was also very much in love with him. Someone he trusted to the point that he could expose himself to that person. Not that Christopher wasn't all these people, he even was. Or he seemed to be, I don't know... Just different. It's different when this someone is someone so beautiful that it seems funny that someone corresponds to you._

_Felix also imagined that he would be prepared. That one day his someone would come to him and say "I want to have sex". Then they would talk the terms and set a future date. Felix would try some emergency regime on the eve, find a way to trim the excess hair, take a bath of hours to see if there was a corner that was weird stinking in his body._

_He would make a big comfortable bed and some amazing dinner so that one would be so happy that he would not notice his worst faults. And then they would make love, nothing full of fetishes or dirty words. Just a cool daddy and mommy position with classical soundtrack music. A few shy moans and candles to lighten the almost darkness. Everything perfect as it had to be._

_Then the next day, the person would have loved it so much that they would not abandon Felix. Then he would make sure that he found the great love of his life._

_But Felix was an expert at seeing his plans go down the drain. If nothing he planned for life happened as he wanted, why would it be any different?_

_It was Wednesday night when he and Christopher were kissing like crazy in the Australian's apartment. Lix wasn't used to the place, but he was glad that at least there was some privacy there for them. None of your Republic colleagues to spy on them._

_Lix wasn't sure how he ever got into Christopher's lap. His strong arms pressed against his back in a way that even if he didn't want to pull away, he couldn't. He doesn't know why at one point between a kiss and another Christopher was already shirtless, or why his big, manly hands insisted on taking his shirt off as well._

_Felix wasn't sure how, shortly thereafter, he ended up between Christopher and the couch, thick, wet lips roaming around his neck as something hard pressed to his left thigh._

_Felix would not lie if asked, but he panicked. He knew what Chris wanted, and so did he, of course. But he was not prepared._

_He hasn't had a shower for the past 9 hours, he hasn't trimmed his hair or even lost 1 gram. On the contrary, the last week had been so stressful that Felix must have put on 20kg. He wondered if he should hold on to Christopher and ask for time to leave, but that wouldn't be nice and could hurt him. So he did what seemed most sensible to him at the time._

_Felix cried._

_And of course Christopher stopped. As lost as Felix himself._

_“What's it?” His loving hands went to his boy's wet cheeks. “I hurt you?”_

_“No, I... I... I don't think I'm ready yet...”_

_Christopher moaned long and understandably, one of his hands caressing Felix's hair as the other drew the freckles on his cheeks. He wasn't angry or hurt and it calmed Felix to a level that only Christopher Bang was capable of._

_“I understand, angel. Everyone has their time, you know? It's normal…” He spoke sweetly, honey dripping from his sincere words. "I understand you’re not ready and I'm glad you told me, but..." A gentle kiss on top of Lix's wet pout. "If it calms you down, I'm not the greatest expert on it either." Chris laughed. It was a small gesture, but it also made Felix laugh. "Anyway, if you ever want to make love to me, I'll be very happy..." Little kisses on the tip of the round nose. "And I will take very, very good care of you."_

_Felix never thought of it as "making love." He had a less romantic view of it. Then he was stirred by those words._

_Chris was very nice and affectionate later, buying pizza and laughing in the middle of a teenage comedy while holding Lix to his chest. He wanted Felix to feel well above anything. Christopher wanted everything to happen naturally, to make Lix feel so safe that he would think of none of his insecurities._

_He filled Felix with treats and compliments and sweet words and hoped it would comfort the little one and make him feel loved._

_Then at the end of the night, Felix looked deep into his eyes and said he thought he was ready and wanted to try. He wanted to have his first time making love with someone like Christopher Bang and that he knew he wouldn't be in pain or anything, because if they were together, it would all end well._

_There was no shower, a few pounds lost, a decent dinner, candlelight, or anything else. No. It was nothing like Felix's plans. But there was someone very special, someone truly special, someone who ultimately made everything better than Felix had ever dreamed._

When Lix received him fully, Christopher released the pressure on his chest, allowing himself to breathe more properly. He looked closely at Lix's expression. His small, teary eyes trying to mask the pain.

Christopher stroked his thighs and small erection as he waited for his boyfriend to get used to it. It used to be complicated at first, because Chris was too big and Felix was drastically small. He would ask every few seconds if Felix was all right, if he could be endured, doing anything to divert his attention from the pain.

“Channie...”

Then Lix called him and Christopher knew it was time to start.

_The Australian was finishing the last adjustments in his graduation work. His advisor was the person who for years was one of his biggest fans: the athletic coach. He allowed Christopher to write about his years on the team, his great achievements, and his best experiences._

_Bang figured that when it came time to deal with CBT, the whole thing would be a trouble and he would end up working on an undesirable theme. So when his coach accepted the invitation to guide him, suggesting the topic and all, he almost felt in heaven._

_“Hey baby.” Lix blushed at the nickname. Christopher never called him that in public. In his hands, a bowl of chopped fruit, crackers and fresh water for the Bang. “Thanks, I really needed it.”_

_“Shh...” The librarian mumbled._

_Christopher worked on his notebook in one of the secluded library booths. They even complained about a sound of keys, so he dismissed the murmur._

_“How is it going?” Felix asked with keen eyes on the Word file._

_“Hmm... Well, I think I'm done, I just need to format a few things.”_

_“I look forward to read it.” He whispered._

_“It is?” Christopher equally, his large hands flying to Felix's narrow hips to pull him closer. “Are you ready to read your veteran's great adventures in Athletics?”_

_“Yes, I am.” Lix rolled his eyes, his feet firm against the floor not letting Christopher move him._

_“Come here...”_

_“No...”_

_“Come on, baby, nobody's seeing.” Bang murmured mischievously, his eyes playful against Felix's shy ones. “Sit with me?”_

_"No, I... I don't want to..." His voice was louder than he expected and his cheeks bursting pink and red._

_“Shh...” The librarian._

_"Ah, but you do, silly. Come here...” With a little more force, Christopher caught him. The big soft thighs settling over his legs. “My cutie pie next to me.”_

“ ‘m close, Channie...”

Felix liked to hugging during the thing. He thought that when Christopher was too close, he would not have the full view of his body. But Christopher didn't complain, because he liked to do so, because he could be so close that he could kiss his lips and feel the freckled skin he loved so much.

Because everything was more intimate and romantic. And Christopher was a lover of romantic things.

He hugged Felix gently, his lips touching every corner of his sweaty face to meet his boyfriend's heart lips. He held Felix firmly in his arms, a silent announcement that it would begin; the sight of the pure, blue-and-purple-painted face pushing him to the next step.

Christopher gave the first thrust and Felix grunted, but it wasn't pain, just a little nuisance, perhaps. In the second thrust, Lix moaned a little louder, his tongue over Christopher's tongue. In the third, he smiled, crystalline tears mingling with Christopher's tears. Again, it was not pain.

"God..." The older man gasped, the pressure on his cock lifting him to a state of intense nirvana. “You're so good, so good, baby... I love you...”

Fourth thrust, he hit him there. Fifth thrust, moans was all that was left in the room. Sixth, Lix bit his shoulder. Seventh thrust, his neurons shorted. Eighth lunge, the world around them disappeared.

_“Felix, I found you.” Changbin came up where he shouldn't be, Christopher's study booth. His face exploded in pink as he realized the position his friends were in. “Ah, hi Chan hyung.”_

_"Hi," Christopher answered without much encouragement, his arms tightening around Felix._

_“Hi, Binnie hyung...”_

_When Felix whispered the nickname, Christopher could not explain what he felt. It was weird, but it wasn't good. His possessive firm arms over Felix._

_“Hm, it's... I wanted to tell you that I got the teacher's permission for our project. She gave a deadline and...” The short man didn't know where to look. It was fucking awkward. He didn't want to get in the way. “Anyway, just to warn you. I'll call you later and tell you the details...”_

_Then Changbin ran before receiving his answer, doubt taking the freckled face._

_“Binnie?” Chris finally asked, his brow furrowed at the act._

_"Oh yes..." Felix blushed. “It was a nickname that Minho hyung gave...”_

_“Understand.”_

_Felix was very cute, Christopher wanted to eat him - not sexually speaking. He kissed the tip of his freckled nose just to distract him as he played with his chips._

_“Hey!” Little punches on his shoulder._

_“Sorry, baby.” Christopher smiled wider, choosing to ignore the new "shh" that followed. "Don't you want to share them with me?"_

_“Well, I don't know if you know, but I suffer from a spoiled fattie disease...” Said all convinced, a pout on the top of salty lips. "I hate sharing food and all my stuff, you know that?"_

_“Seriously?” Christopher nibbled at them, dissolving the salt on his tongue. "Because I hate sharing my things too."_

_“But I'm not messing with you, Chris...”_

_"No." He stole a peck from him too. “But Changbin is.”_

They had been in that position for minutes, but Christopher didn't care. He really enjoyed being on top, he liked how Felix's thighs curled around his hip and the friction of their bodies drove him to ecstasy. He liked to have Felix all within reach, his face, his neck, his chest, his soft belly. He liked the short nails scraping his pale back and how beautiful they would look with red marks later.

He liked being so close to Felix to hear him moan, asking to go faster, to stay fixed at the same point, to kiss his mouth. Because he would do everything, everything and a little more for his boy's orgasm.

At times like this, Christopher also allowed himself to feel like a god. He felt as if he could carry the whole world in his hands, as if having Felix all shaky and needy beneath him was a confirmation that he was special. He thought that nothing could be greater than this, that nothing could be better than giving his boy all the pleasure a human being could feel.

_The last days of the Bang flew by and Felix thought he would have to get used to Christopher's absence early, but that wasn't quite what happened. Every day the Australian gave a way of being on campus. He visited him all the time, many of his classmates tugging on, subject as his eyes roamed the corridors of his boy._

_He just wanted to be where Felix was._

_One afternoon like any other, the little one would burn neurons revising for the test he would have at the end of the day. Christopher thought it would be unfair what he was going to do, but he had been fighting the idea for a while._

_He couldn't take it anymore. It had to be at that moment._

_It was when Lix accepted the juice given to him that Christopher lost control of his own actions._

_´Felix, I was thinking...” _

_"Hm?" _

_“Do you wanna date me?”_

_The test grade for that day was the lowest Lix had ever scored in the entire course._

“Close, Channie...”

“Not yet, honey...”

Christopher slowed down, the heat and sweat making skimming less comfortable.

“Baby?” He aimed at Felix's pout. A look of discontent on his red face. So close and so far. “Can I ask you something...?”

Christopher spoke very fearfully, his fingers stroking the boy's bangs as he waited for his answer. There was nothing but a tired sigh.

“I'll change positions, yes? I want you on top...”

“No, Channie.” He was quick to respond, even though his mind was busy with the pressure point in his ass. “No no no...”

"Baby..." He was smart, taking advantage of the fact that Felix was so sensitive in a specific place at the back of his neck to persuade him there. “Let's take the opportunity...” Kiss. “That today we are breaking the routine...” Kiss. “And try that too? I want you so much riding me under these lights... I want to see your beautiful body over mine...”

Felix felt so embarrassed that he would never learn to deal with his boundless boyfriend's words.

"I want you to do it any way you want, feel like you feel like it, and then..." Chris took a long, wet kiss from Felix, the sound of mixed saliva reigniting the peak of pleasure in the small belly. “When you are very close... I want you to hug me tightly and kiss me deeply. Can you do that for me, honey?”

Felix wanted to have denied it, he wanted so badly, but he never could when Christopher filled him, filled him with sweet words. He might have been less insecure than hours ago, but it wasn't as if he could ever ride his boyfriend even under the fairy lights. No. Not at all. He would not go.

"Would my handsome prince do that for me?"

Fuck it! Felix turned around.

_Felix was almost used to dropping tasks in half to keep up with his eldest, but he couldn't lie: graduation week was hell. A million unnecessary events. Christopher had hardly slept with so much work._

_Anyway, he didn't let it hit Felix. After each day, he would sit on the couch in the small apartment and make popcorn for his boy while some movie played on the screen in front of them._

_Most nights Christopher fell asleep for the first few minutes, and Felix just stood there admiring the drooling face of his silly hyung._

_So it was the last day of the event. The moment when the diplomas would be awarded. The ceremony was usually held in a large auditorium on campus, the decoration was up to the class. Christopher's chose beautiful blue lilies, which broke the pattern of white roses._

_Christopher, of course, had been chosen to be the class's speaker, and in years since its founding on a prom night, that auditorium has never been as crowded as it had been in its lifetime._

_“Before the diplomas are handed over, we would like to call on the class speaker, Christopher Bang, to say a few words.”_

_The audience cheered him on. Still always so quiet and shy, Felix also applauded with excitement. He knew it didn't matter if it came from Chris, nothing would change the legend he became on that campus._

_And it was amazing, every little word and memory, it was amazing and exciting. Many people filmed, much of it thrilled._

_..._

_"And before it's over ..." The Australian stared steadily at the silent audience, his speech almost at the end. "I'd like to thank you ..." He smiled. “Thank my classmates, my dear teachers, my friends from Athletics, and every employee on this campus, because without you I wouldn't be here today.” Everyone cheered until the moment he held out a hand, a sweet smile for silence. It was not the end yet. "And more than that, I'd like to thank my future, handsome boyfriend."_

_Felix shivered from head to toe, all eyes turning to the instant Christopher pointed his speech at him._

_"Felix, honey, I still expect your **yes**."_


	4. Hate to see your heart break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this is officially the last chapter. The next will be a bonus chapter. If you've read this far, thank you so much! ♥

Lix felt insecure. He held on to Christopher's torso while whimpering around his neck. The boy was already on top, but he felt unable to lift his body or his gaze.

“It's okay, love...” Chris stroked his back, a gentle pat on the blond strands of his boyfriend. “I'm so happy to be with you, you know? I don't mind waiting until you’re ready...”

“’kay...” Lix grunted still embarrassed, his palms sinking into Chris' big dimples as he looked up. “I'm ready.”

“You are?” He asked him sweetly, his lips reaching out to touch Lix's.

“I am.”

Felix slowly lifted his body, his skin bathed in fairy lights. His eyes were like little half moons, his mouth in a thin smile, his straight, shiny hair sliding over his face. The ethereal image of a god.

“I'm ready...” He said before giving the first ride.

_It was as Lix imagined. Christopher was surrounded by people at a point where it was difficult to get close. Many hugs and congratulations, lots of emotional people, people from all courses and periods, from everywhere... Nothing unusual for the most popular person in years that campus has ever had._

_Sometimes, however, even Felix underestimated him, not realizing the exact moment when an "hey, Felix" sounded among the crowd and people automatically opened the way for the little one to pass._

_“Hi...” Lix replied shyly, still unaccustomed to being the center of attention. “Hey, Chris.”_

_“Did you like my speech?”_

_“Yes... I watched everything.”_

_Christopher's smile grew on his face and even those white cheeks could turn pink at times._

_“Well, then I was right to recognize that little blonde head in the crowd.” He laughed a little louder as he approached the boy to interlace his fingers in one hand. “I hope you aren't upset, I just thought-“_

_“Yes!”_

_“Hm?”_

_“Yes, Chris!” His cheeks burned, his whole body, by the way. “Uh... I mean yes, my answer is yes.”_

_Felix had seen a hundred smiles and happy looks on Bang's face before, he decorated and kept each of them to himself. But that one in particular, the exact glow that Christopher showed when he heard his yes... That was new. And the most beautiful. The most beautiful of all._

_“Oh my God!” The now ex-veteran pulled him to the nearest photo set, a photographer ready to hit his first record while he settled in an armchair with Felix safe in his arms. “Please take a picture of us. It will be my first photo ...” His eyes turned to Felix's almonds and giants eyes. “With my beautiful boyfriend.”_

Christopher was mesmerized by the image of little Felix resting his small hands on his broad chest. He was ready to give the next boost. Everything was damp, there was a lot of sweat. Sweat, lubricant, pre-fluids and saliva.

Lix slowly rose, Christopher's cock sliding inside until only his glans were left. Then he descended as slowly as he did, his eyes pressed and his lips pursed in caution. Again and again. Felix wanted to feel it before he did.

Once again. The noises of wet penetration and the small murmurs filling the room. Christopher remained mesmerized, unable to take his eyes off the perfect boy above him. His skin sparkling like glitter, his freckles shining like little stars. He slid his strong hands over Felix's arms, his fingers trembling with the shock of feelings flooding him.

“Baby...” Felix blinked slowly, his pupils dilating with the image of his boyfriend's face. He was so overwhelmed with pleasure that little by little he was tearing down his walls. “So beautiful, baby... You're doing so well...”

He encouraged it, Felix's movements becoming more fluid to the compliments he heard.

“Yes...” Chan growled. Felix's soft thighs flexing once more to rise. “So beautiful, so good...”

Felix came down again, a small smile breaking on his proud lips as he pressed himself around Christopher and saw him roll his eyes.

“Good...?”

“Good...” Chan returned his smile, his penis so well received by the heat of the lover that it made him lose his mind little by little. “The best, Felix... You are the best...”

_Christopher promised to give space to Felix, but sometimes he couldn't resist it. He liked to know how his boyfriend was doing, since the little boy never talked about the course or anything related to studies._

_Christopher chose the days he knew people usually missed, Fridays. He arrived shortly before Felix's class ended and was looking for a quiet place where he could wait for him, but since the entrance, his presence had already attracted attention._

_“Hey, prince!” The bigger one called him as soon as the boy walked through the door of the class, his books against his chest and a sleepy face._

_Chris didn't care if there were so many people around him, asking about his life or anything. If there were a lot of girls or their former athletic classmates. When he saw Felix, nothing but his boyfriend mattered._

_He crossed the fan crowd and ran to his boy, took his books with one hand and the backpack with the other, then placed it on his shoulders before heard him grumble at the excessive zeal._

_“Hey, Chris. What are you doing here?” Felix whispered as he pulled him away from curious eyes. “I thought you would be working?”_

_“I was. Can't I have left early to pick up my boyfriend?”_

_"Prince?" "Do they date?", Some girls whispered too loudly for Felix not to hear, but Chris had already taken him away before the little one knew who they were._

_“Well, if you continue at that pace, you will be fired.” Felix joked, his boyfriend rolling his eyes while helping him buckle up._

_“You're right, dear.” Chris started the car most concerned with leaving campus. “But for today...” His face slightly curved to seal his boyfriend's freckled cheek. “Let me just take you out to dinner.”_

Cristopher slid his hands again, his cold fingers caressing his boy's sweaty folds. Felix did not care, nor did it tickle, more occupied with his own pleasure. He picked up his pace and, faster and faster, he went up and down, his moans intensifying whenever Christopher's cock sank right into him.

He never imagined that one day he would do that, that he would ride someone. If they asked him years ago, just when Felix entered the course and Chris was just an unreachable veteran, Felix would have convulsed with laughter at the idea of riding that man.

But now he was there and the whole thing was real. Felix hated changes or new things, but he loved that one. He loved how he was just a handsome man below him, but who with the least of his acts made him feel like a god. He loved the power to command, to be on top, to lead movements and to set the pace, to decide where and how Christopher should be inside him. He loved going up and down so comfortably on his boyfriend's massive, warm expanse. He loved every sound his body made when it hit Bang's, how his little penis bounced around the rides and how all the pre-lubrication splashed by him marked the tiny space between the two red-hot bodies. And how Christopher looked bewitched... So intoxicated by the sight of his own boyfriend's pleasure.

“Fuck, Christopher... I love your dick...” He said what he only confessed in those moments when pleasure went beyond his language filters, saliva and tears streaming from his cavities. “Fuck, I'm close... I'm coming...”

Christopher almost snarled, his fingers pressing on his small, soft hips to help him pace. He partially lifted the trunk just to touch Felix's lips, but his boyfriend's sweaty hands returned him to the bed.

Felix loved being in control.

“Come on baby...”

“I will... I will cum just with your cock, I will ride you forever, Christopher...”

Christopher could reach the limit with just his words. The idea of his insecure boy fucking himself was better than any dirty scene he had ever dreamed of in his own dreams. He groaned louder and louder, his last rational neurons dying in the process.

“Give it to me, baby...” Possessive hands claiming territory on Felix's waist as his pace accelerated. “Be my beautiful boy and do it for me...”

Felix did. He used to have this thought that in the end he would always reach the best place, the common space of nirvana that only existed for those two.

His face had become a mess of all fluids, as well as the small friction between them. The tears looked like purple crystals that slid down his falling freckles. His skin was all red, partly from his lover's marks. Partly because of the contrast of its natural color with the lights.

He threw himself against Christopher so that his strong arms would readily welcome him. He kissed him as he promised, the small cells of his body convulsing with how intense, wet and true his entire orgasm was. A sly groan that went through the walls of his room and that probably reached all the other rooms in the building, but that was just for Chris.

And then Felix cried against his favorite man's big, beautiful lips. Beautiful tears of happiness.

_The first time the relationship broke was also the last._

_Felix left the world, a breakdown that lasted for weeks. He started to avoid Christopher. Crises of self-esteem that prevented him from leaving the room and seeing life outside. To complicate matters, his family found out about the dating and started to ignore him._

_He didn't know what to do. It was hard enough to have to deal with the idea of dating a man when you were also a man. It was more difficult when that man was amazing and you were a single, round zero to the left._

_Felix felt as if the world hated that combination. No one - apart from some mutual friends - never seemed happy with the two of them. They always acted as if Christopher were with Felix out of pity. And Felix tried hard not to care most of the time, although it was always so difficult when, deep down, you agreed with people._

_Felix broke down little by little. It was just a little bit, but that putting it together every time it broke a little over the years, was enough for the collapse that followed._

_Felix destroyed all the mirrors in his room. He wiped out any source of light that existed there and ended everything that connected it to the outside, such as cell phones, computers or windows._

_Then Felix locked the exits and entrances. He put on his most comfortable pajamas and hid under his oldest comforter, a makeshift hut that used to protect him from his childhood monsters._

_Felix spent whole days there, sometimes waking up just to cry some more or replenish the water supply in his body. He thought that if he disappeared for a while, people would eventually forget him and no one else would have to live with his dark existence. He thought it was irrelevant and that no one would even miss it. So everything was fine. It's all right._

_It's all right until Christopher went crazy._

_When it all happened, Bang was out. He needed to travel for a while, his family needed him in Australia._

_Christopher called every day, always dropping into the message box. He called the republic, but no one ever answered. He called Changbin and Jisung, but no one could find out what happened to Felix._

_Eventually, Christopher also broke down. It hadn't been his first time, but by far it had been the most traumatic._

_He took his first plane home and argued with his parents that would last for the next two Christmases. He despaired to the point of knocking at the door of the republic at three in the morning, no one even coming to open it._

_Christopher threw pebbles at the window that he knew belonged to Felix's room and threatened to tear the building down if no one came. He called and called for hours, until one of the students threatened to call the police._

_In a last act of desperation, Christopher climbed the tree that ended just below the window. He broke into it with his strong arms even though he later had to work twice as hard to pay for it. Then he finally found it, a scene that even after so many years he would never be able to forget._

_“God, Felix, what have you done, oh my...” Were your first words after the initial shock._

_The boy was pale, his freckles were the only color on his entire body. His face looked destroyed and there were some traces of dried blood across the room and bed._

_Felix didn't know what time or what day it was, he didn't even recognize Christopher until the first piece of fruit in days entered his system. He listened to all the complaints and desperate whimpers while he remained quiet, as he gathered air in his lungs to speak his first and insincere words since:_

_“I want to break up.”_

“You did very well, you were splendid as an angel... See how easy it was?”

Christopher stroked Felix's damp hair, the boy's slow breathing warming the skin of his chest.

After you descend from the top of an orgasm, your rational side works again and you realize how embarrassing it may have been all you did at the height of your arousal. Lix kind of felt that way.

“I did well...?” He asked, his face filled with shame buried against the skin of the other, his body giving the last spasms of pleasure.

“Ah yes. You were perfect, love.”

Felix smiled small looking up to face his lover. Even after all, he knew how difficult it had been for Christopher, his erection had been longing for some relief.

“Should we take care of you, Channie? A prize for making me feel so good...”

“A prize?”

Something about the mischievous expression made his cock convulse inside Felix's soft interior.

“A prize.” He nodded, his teeth sinking against the great Australian's jaw. “Then why don't you turn me over...” Lips with lips. “And claim your prize?”

Christopher just did that, he turned Felix under him and went back to his good old control position. He kissed his laughing boy's provocative lips and drew the cupid's bow on the top of his tongue. Then he smiled sweetly and took a slow lunge that made Lix roll his big almond-shaped eyes.

“It will be a pleasure, my prince.”

_Love must not hurt, it must be home. When you are already hurt, it will be your cure. And when you're lost, love will be your light._

_Christopher hugged him so tightly that he never thought he would be able to hug someone like that in his life. He let Lix collapse a little more in his chest until he took him for a blind shower. He wiped his brittle hair and dressed him in one of his many great hoodies, just because Felix said it once because he loved the smell that was in them._

_He laid him on the bed of his new apartment, which they shared today, and sang a little bit until the boy stopped choking on dry tears. Felix would not sleep for a long time, but there was no problem, Christopher would be awake there for him too._

_He took his pretty cheeks and slowly brought them close to his face, all the tenderness his eyes only had when they looked at Felix._

_Then he confessed it:_

_“I love you and I love everything about you, boy...” Gentle lips caressing the ones of Lix. “So, please, never give me such a scare again and I swear I will protect you forever.”_

_Felix nodded, still a little shaky, his few functional neurons slowly returning to active activity._

_“Do you promise to take care of me?”_

_“I promise with all my might.” He smiled, happy with the confidence Felix had placed in him. “And you, promise to let me take care of you?”_

_Felix nodded again, small hands getting lost in Christopher's curly hair._

_“I promise, Channie.”_

Christopher liked to feel inside. He liked the slowness, how the lack of euphoria was always more exciting than the presence, because their bodies seemed more connected like that. Felix, on the other hand, was not such a fan of calm, but he didn't hate it. It was more like being teased when Chris went so deep and slowly while his pupils were lost somewhere on Lix's face.

Felix couldn't blame him, he even understood it; Christopher was romantic by nature. The kind that only recognizes the expression make love in your vocabulary. And for Chris, making love was kind of like that. It was when Felix was under his hands, his beautiful lips at his fingertips whenever he felt close; when Lix grunted against his face, the pleasure inherent in the two bodies. When his boy was absolutely exhausted and sensitive and sore, but he still tried harder and harder for Christopher to cum too.

That was when his strong fingers stuck to the soft skin of Felix's thighs and he pulled them around his hips. When Lix destroyed his back a little more, the little marks of love that would always remind him of who he belonged to. When Christopher himself didn't know what he was talking about anymore, but he knew that Felix assumed it was some cheesy declaration of love.

Slow, warm and totally intimate. Only theirs. It was when he felt closest to Felix and, consequently, to God. Because Felix was his religion.

“Almost there, baby...” He stroked one of the little boy's cheeks, the other hand pushing on the little boy's thigh. “Hold on a little longer for me...”

“Channie...”

Felix felt a little uncomfortable, the hypersensitivity touched by the two orgasms in a row. He could take it, anyway, because it wasn't so bad when it was Christopher. And because Christopher endured many worse things for him.

“Almost there, baby... I'm almost there...”

“Oh dear... You are so big...” Felix trembled with the incisive contact against his prostate. It was good, but it was still too much.

“Say it.” Christopher sped up, his balls begging for release so close when Felix's insides contracted against him. “Say that, Felix.”

Felix smiled against his lover's handsome and excited face, his soft little hands encircling Christopher's neck and bringing him closer. He pecked his lips and pasted his eyes, because it was time. The favorite moment for both of them.

“I love you, my cute little silly.”

_“Hey cutie.” Christopher circled his boyfriend's waist as he watched his reflection in the mirror. Something about Felix's scowl did not give him a good feeling. “You look very handsome.”_

_“I'm absolutely not.”_

_Felix pulled away as he threw himself against the bed. He hated glued clothes, hated how his body looked so well modeled in skinny pants and that shit, but Christopher already thought otherwise, not that his opinion mattered much when he was in love._

_“Do you really think I'm fine, Chris? Please, an objective opinion.”_

_“I sure think you look very sexy.” He said throwing himself on Felix, the bed sinking below them._

_“Look who I ask too...” Lix rolls his eyes, affectionate bites being deposited on his chin. “I can go out dressed as a sofa cover and you'll say I'm sexy.”_

_“You always look sexy.” Chris laughed. “But ask anybody else, they will all agree with me.”_

_“Ah, yes, for sure...”_

_They were going to Changbin's birthday, as popular as Chris, Felix was 100% sure it would be like an extension of some campus event._

_People still found it hard to believe that those two were dating and Christopher's fans kind of didn't give up trying to always get his attention. Felix hated how jealous and possessive he became at times simply for dating the damn fool of such a stupidly handsome._

_“Do you really date Christopher?” He was not surprised by the question because, over the years, he got used to hearing it._

_“Yes, we've been dating for a long time.”_

_“I heard he asked you for a date in his graduation speech, is this true or some urban legend?”_

_She was a beautiful girl and Lix regretted that she had to lend herself to that role. Her friend, not as beautiful as, but still charming, smiled at her friend's comment. It was annoying._

_“In parts, it is.” He shrugged as he took a sip of his blue drink. “He asked me before, actually. And I just didn't answer it right away.” The girls seemed interested in hearing it. “Then, on graduation day, he pointed at me and said he was waiting for my yes. It was very shameful, I confess...”_

_“Wow, it looks like a fanfic.” The friend said._

_“Well, ask anyone who's been there. There must be videos too, I don't know.”_

_The girls laughed some more and Felix's hands started to sweat. He didn't know why they never believed him; Lix was a real person. There was no reason to lie with such a story. There was no reason why he had to prove something that only concerned him and Christopher Bang._

_“What's so funny?”_

_“Nothing, we just wanted to know.”_

_“Ask him, then. He's coming...”_

_When the girls turned around, Christopher was already close enough that they didn't think to back off._

_“Hey, baby. You were taking too long...” The Australian greeted the boyfriend, one of his arms around his waist._

_“Are they your friends? I was asked if it is true that we date...”_

_“Why would not it be?” Chris smiled kindly at them. “It was very difficult to win Felix, I was very rejected.”_

_“No, it was not!”_

_“Oh, I did.” He kissed one of the boy's cheeks. “But I did it anyway. It's hard to believe, isn't it?” The question was directed to the girls. “Such a handsome prince dating someone like me... Sometimes I don't believe it.”_

_“I agree.” Felix said convinced, his arms around Chris back and pulling him closer. “Who would think, right?” Moist lips sealing the skin on the back of Chris's neck and then turning towards the girls. “Anyway, do you still need videos?”_

_“Oh no, no...” The first laughed in embarrassment._

_“You look good together.” The second pretended_

_“Anyway, let's go... Thank you, Felix.”_

_Lix and Chris didn't even realize that they had already moved away when they were still busy exchanging a kiss._

_“That was very sexy.” Chan whispered against his boyfriend's lips._

_“What, love?”_

_“You protecting me from these crazy people.”_

_“Sure.” Lix kissed him again, small hands pressing Christopher's dimples. “I take care of what's mine.”_

“Are you okay?” Chris fell to the side as soon as his orgasm subsided. It didn't take him long to pull Felix to his chest.

“Yes, a little sore, maybe...”

“Want a massage? Drink something?”

“I will definitely want to, but I think a bath would be better for now?”

“Ah yes, a bath is a good idea.”

Christopher gave his heart lips a peck before he sat on the edge of the bed. He quickly looked for his slippers and stood up. Chris was a little tired and the sleep was certainly greater than any desire for a bath, but he knew his boy's need, so he didn't mind doing that.

“Channie?” The boy extended his arms with his big big eyes.

Chris smiled at him, picking him until he could carry him to the bathroom in the right corner of the room.

“You are a very spoiled boyfriend.” He joked while stroking Lix's hair and placing it over the edge of the bathtub.

“You know very well who is to blame.” Lix shifted uncomfortably, semen running down his legs.

Christopher partially filled the tub with water in between. He liked it very cold while Felix preferred it very hot, but when the two shared the bath, the water had to be half and half.

He selected their favorite salts and entered when the foam was already high, his hands stretched out in a silent call for Felix to enter.

The boy soon threw himself between his legs and leaned his back against his lover's broad chest. It was a big bathtub, though, but they liked it that way.

Chris rubbed Felix's back and hair as he watched him relax under the affection. Chris lathered it properly, his hands lingering where he believed Lix would find it best.

“God... If you do like this, I will get excited again...” The boy said when felt the fingers of Chris sliding down his groin.

Soap kisses on your shoulders.

“It wouldn't be a problem, dear, I would take care of that.”

“I'm so tired, love...”

“I know.” He laughed as he started the shower over them. “But you know, don't you? You don't have to make any effort...” He said, his words loaded with ulterior motives. “I will always be here for you.”

_“I think you should come and live with me.” Christopher grunted as he kept himself entertained in a game on his cell phone._

_“No fucking way.” And Lix replied without looking back, his eyes fixed on the notebook on which he was working on his CBT. “It starts with living together, then we notice each other's ugly habits and when will you see...” He turned his chair, Christopher curiously attentive to his words. “No one likes each other anymore.”_

_With some couples it might happen just like that, I don't know. Chris had no idea where Felix got this kind of thing from, but he just sighed deeply, two spankings on both thighs that were soon caught by his boyfriend's watchful eyes._

_The boy sat comfortably on Chris's lap and accepted the tender kiss that had been left on the tip of his freckles._

_“I don't see a reason not to like you, but I'm worried about you living in this unhealthy republic. That's it, darling.” It was simplistic._

_“Can I ask you a question, Chris?”_

_“Sure.”_

_“What would you do if one day I stopped liking you? I mean, it can eventually happen to any of us, but... What if I stopped liking you first?”_

_It was a difficult question for Christopher because there was no answer for him. He didn't used to think about it, he never did, to be honest. But knowing Felix as he did, with all his insecurities and crises of self-esteem, he knew that the boy was thinking. That Felix thought a lot and all the time about that kind of thing._

_The older man took a second breath, his eyes wandering over the freckles of his curious face. There was definitely no answer, but he worked hard for Felix._

_“First of all, I hope none of us will get tired of each other, but if that ever happens to you, I don't know how I would feel about it, but I would try to accept your decision without further conflict.”_

_Felix thought for a moment as he processed the answer in his mind._

_“Would you suffer?”_

_“I sure would, you know, but I wouldn't make you do anything. I think if I still love you, but suddenly you realize that you got tired of me, then I need to let you be happy.”_

_It was tacky, but sweet. Stupidly sincere and sweet._

_“That would be very mature of you...” He smiled, satisfied with the answer more than he expected to feel. “Anyway, don't worry about it, love...” His lips touching Christopher's soft on a wet peck. “Because I will never get tired of you.”_

“If you don't wear an outfit, I'll want to have sex again...” Felix babbled when the half-naked boyfriend rocked him behind his back.

Christopher's hot laugh sounded against the back of his neck.

“You only think about sex, baby... What's wrong if I just want to hug my beautiful boyfriend?”

Even after many years, Felix's cheeks still heated up when Christopher called him that.

Lix would sometimes complain about how overly sticky and affectionate his boyfriend was or how zealous he was on an almost inconvenient level, but he would never say he didn't love. For a person who has spent his life avoiding others or any slight show of affection, Felix was gradually learning to accept that he also deserved to feel loved and special, even though it was sometimes difficult to demonstrate with the same intensity.

He loved, of course, he loved Christopher so much that every day of his life he imagined how he would live today if he didn't have him. He just didn't know how to demonstrate yet, or express himself as well as the other did. He wanted to be able to thank him more often or say things as sweet as those he heard daily, but it was still difficult, that was all. Felix never learned to deal with that kind of thing. A long and time-consuming process that gradually shaped him to new feelings. In the meantime, he just demonstrated how he managed... His silent "I love you" in the form of delicate gestures, shy kisses on the tip of Chris's nose, warm hugs when the world weighed and all they wanted was just to find a home in the shared warmth.

Felix turned to his lover and found him with tired eyes, but still, with a gentle glow that never left them.

“You know what, Channie? You call me that even before being your boyfriend.”

“I know well.” He laughs a little, his face rubbing against Felix's cold palms. “Since the day I saw you I knew that you would be my beautiful little boyfriend.”

"You were a stalker, actually..." Christopher smiled again, deep dimples welling up beside his teeth in a perfect smile.

“Sorry, sometimes I just couldn't control myself.” He kissed Felix's flushed lips, his eyes falling against a heart freckle. “Anyway, I was thinking... There's something curious about you, dear.”

“Hm?”

“I never saw you talk about anyone or call someone ugly or boring. You only criticize one person worldwide, baby. Yourself.”

Lix looked down, his face digging into Chan's neck as he sought shelter. Christopher never lied.

“Do you think I'm a beautiful and nice person, Felix?”

“Yes!” He grunted muffled. “You are the most beautiful and the coolest in the whole world, Channie...”

“So what do you feel...” Until Chris took his face in his hands to bring his gaze back. “What do you feel when the most beautiful and the coolest in the world says that only you can be the best?”

"I really feel the best..." He murmured, his big eyes wavering.

“So feel this way, love, because you are.”

Chris hugged him again, letting Felix turn his face to the warmth of the back of his neck.

Because Christopher never lied, right? Felix knew more than anyone. And Felix loved him very much too, he loved his big, silly boyfriend, his stupid jokes and his eternal good humor, his eyes always in love with life and his lips as beautiful as the sky. His extraordinary talent for breaking things and his lack of filter with words. He loved everything and a little more about every feature of Christopher.

And because he loved him so much, he would endeavor every day to show him how important the great Australian was to him.

“I love you, Chris. Ok, you're boring 90% of the time and embarrass me all the time, but I love you so much that I would move a galaxy for you.”

“That was cute, baby.”

Christopher laughed, grunting in pain as soon as a deep bite was left on his shoulder.

“Hey! Sorry, sorry!” He smiled with the kiss Felix gave him next. “I love you too, okay? So much much much...”

“Cheesy.”

“Always.” He said, his arms tightening more and more around Felix.

The fact is, Christopher also loved everything about Felix. From the first day he saw him, he loved how bright Felix looked over the corridors of the old campus, as if the season's sun competed with him to see who shone the brightest. He loved everything about his appearance, from the big almond-shaped eyes to the three folds of his fluffy belly.

He loved the spots on his thick thighs and the fat little toes. Christopher loved everything about his personality too, as he was shy in a cute way and hardworking in a feral way. Or when Christopher spoke cheesiness on purpose just to see him grumble while hiding his flushed cheeks.

Christopher loved the fact that he tried very hard to win it, because everything that comes easy does not have the same flavor of an arduous victory. Because now that he had it, he felt the best. He loved it when Felix timidly confessed that he loved him too, because I love you was a strong expression and he knew that Lix would only use it with someone who really mattered.

And Christopher loved to feel important to Felix, because Felix was also important, and because Christopher simply needed to remind him of it all the time, always for many reasons and sometimes for no reason at all. He just loved it.

Christopher loved his cute little boyfriend Felix.

**Author's Note:**

> All parts in italics are flashbacks, hope you get it
> 
> Thanks for reading ♥


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